Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Scientists warn that polar warming might alter ocean currents and cause massive flooding in the U.S. - Earth.com

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for fakery

Indiana Pacers assistant Lloyd Pierce taking lessons for next opportunity as head coach - Andscape

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I can read

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

LIVE Updates, Score, Notes: No. 14 Tennessee Baseball vs. Wake Forest Knoxville Regional Game Seven - Rocky Top Insider

I see through liars

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Taylor Swift Owns Her Masters Now – But Her Greatest ‘Taylor’s Version’ Song Ensures the Legacy of Her Re-Recordings - Billboard

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

See ‘Star Trek: Strange New Worlds’ Season 3 Episode Titles And New Posters - TrekMovie.com

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

S&P Dow Jones Makes No Changes to S&P 500 in Quarterly Rebalance - Bloomberg

I actually pay taxes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What makes you think that former U.S. President Donald Trump's legal team has already been laying the groundwork for an appeal in the hush money trial?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Otsuka tops Vera Therapeutics in kidney disease study showdown - statnews.com

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Could Patriots cut Stefon Diggs and owe him nothing? It’s complicated. - NBC Sports

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Why do older siblings always hate younger siblings?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

POLL: ESPN writer stokes the flames of Lions trading for All-Pro EDGE - Pride Of Detroit

I don’t buy bullshit

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday